Collect for Monday in the Fifth Week of Lent
Be gracious to your people, we entreat you, O Lord, that they, repenting day by day of the things that displease you, may be more and more filled with love of you and of your commandments; and, being supported by your grace in this life, may come to the full enjoyment of eternal life in you everlasting kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Jesus: Frustrated Love (Matthew 23:1-39)
Me: “I notice that you’re acting in some ways that are, well, kind of obnoxious. Is there something going on with you that is making you feel like acting that way? Are you feeling hungry, or sad, or angry?”
My 5-year-old son: “No. I just like it.”
Me: “OK, well, it’s making us have a lot of fights instead of having fun together. If you notice a reason why you’re acting this way, let’s talk about it, all right?....”
Yesterday I had a conversation with my son that ran a lot like that. My son is a fantastic kid – funny and kind and bright and creative. And, like any other kid, he has his moods – and like any other kid, he knows how to push his parents’ buttons like nobody else on earth. On a good day, when I have my own emotional resources gathered, I remember to respond to his button-pushing with compassion, in addition to the inevitable frustration. I reflect on what might be causing the obnoxious behavior: is he hungry? is he feeling jealous of his baby sister? is he processing something that happened at school, or trying out behavior he’s seen from other kids? Sometimes that kind of thinking helps me work with him to resolve the friction between us. More often, it just helps me be the parent I want to be, grounded in the truth that I love my kid even in the moments when he’s not acting very likeable.
In chapter 23 of Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus harangues the scribes and the Pharisees for their hypocrisy and false leadership. His rhetoric is pointed and powerful. But the verse that makes me catch my breath is verse 37, when Jesus’ tone suddenly shifts: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” In these words we catch a glimpse of the immense love that lies behind Jesus’ frustration, Jesus’ rage. Jesus’ words here move me, because as a parent I can just begin to imagine the agonizing mixture of anger, frustration, grief, and love at seeing a child – seeing a whole city full of children – wandering far from the pathways that will lead them to wholeness.
Jesus’ angry rebukes spring from love. What a blessing to know that even on the days when I feel like I’m more of a Pharisee than I want to be – that I’ve left the inside of the cup dirty, swallowed a camel, and neglected justice, mercy, and faith – that Jesus, that God loves me and longs to gather me back to him. May I – may all of us – always return with gratitude to the shelter of those wings.
The Rev. Dr. Miranda K. Hassett
Rector
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